This post is goodbye, for now. My blog has served its purpose and it is a good thing to know when it’s time to stop. Mothering While Queer helped me look back and make peace with those early years of sorting out my identity as a lesbian mother.
I’m happy to report that the baby I was pregnant with at the end of my last blog post will—unbelievably—turn thirty this year. She’s a wonderful woman. Although my relationship with her other mom did not work out, I did eventually find my happy-ever-after with my wife, Sue. We’ve spent the past 22 years building a yours, mine, and ours family. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m grateful every day that I share mothering with Sue. And, we’ve been married since 2017. Life is good.
The Blogging Experiment
My experiment with blogging about my mothering experience, along with publishing The Mother Gene, helped me realize an important truth: I’ve been the best mother I know how to be.
The Perfect Mother
The perfect mother is not some idealized heterosexual cisgender woman who wants nothing more that to nurture, nurture, nurture. There is no perfect mother. No matter their faults or assets, our mothers were only part of the reason we became who we are; same goes for our influence on our own children. So, forgive yourself if you can’t stand your mother—it’s okay. Forgive yourself if you’re not a perfect mother—there’s no such thing.
Coming Out in a Whole New Way
For those of you who read my blog, thank you. Writing it opened me up—like coming out in a whole new way. I’m grateful for that.
What now? I sense something new on the horizon. We’ll see. I seem to be best suited for writing fiction.
As Albert Camus said, “Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth.”